By Master Dribbler
I HAD been eyeing the girl next door from the day she and her mother shifted next to my house two weeks ago. From the first day our eyes met, our body chemistry convinced us there was something in stock for us.
I did not know how to start the conversation because most of the time, she was with her mother. I was trying to be a good neighbour and not rushing things with her but again I realised there were many frogs around with eyes, if you know what I mean.
You see, the best time to deal with iron is to hit when it is still red hot. It was clear that if I took my time, others may snap at her but again, I wanted to strike a balance between not being seen to be desperate and not missing the opportunity.
Last week Wednesday, at the time the mother was leaving for work, this girl was at the market. Her mother had no option but leave the keys with me because she had left her phone charging in the house. I was off.
Opportunities come but just once! What a perfect end to the puzzle that had been sending me to bed figuring out how I could finally pounce on her.
Now, I know most of you don’t know her but cut the story shot, she is a damsel, a complete women. Her beauty striking, her smile next to none. Her round cholate face punctuated with big, protruding eyes and nice dimples on each cheek, tempting…
My house is next to the only gate to our apartments and so, I needed to ambush her the moment she came in. I sat outside my verandah like an idiot thinking of the next mischief and with no time, she came back.
I told her that her mother had left the keys with me. I asked her for her name and her phone number and she left. I sent her a message later in the day asking her when she would be free so that we could talk. She told me she was free as her mother would only come after 17:00. I salivated. I asked her if she could come over but she declined.
Seemed like I was pushing her too far too quickly. I decided to take it easy. That whole day, I did not speak to her. My phone bleeped slightly after 21:00 the same day. It was a message from her wishing me a good night. I thanked her and wished her the same too.
On Thursday, I went for work very early in the morning but slightly after 08:00, she called me to ask if I was home. My heart skipped a bit. Is this girl at my door? Why was she playing the hard to get the previous day when we had all the time to ourselves?
Cut the long story short, I told her I was at work and would knock off late but Friday, I would be off. A plan was then hatched that we meet on Friday when her mother would be away. I told her I had feelings for her and she told me she felt the same but was scared to love again as she was just coming from a terrible heartbreak.
If you have been involved in this nonsense called love affairs for a long time like some of us who have been in the business for decades, you will know that the easiest animal to target is one which has just been wounded. Thing is, you need to win a sympathy vote by being there for her. Giving her a shoulder to lean on and help heal.
Play the messiah and make her forget about the previous relationship even when you clearly know that you are a senior devil than the devil she has been dating.
Where was I? Okay, so, the deal was made and the whole Thursday afternoon, I was busy convincing her to date me. Men out there know exactly what is said in such situations. Words like “he does not deserve your love,” “just move on” and “I will be there for you” flooded her message inbox.
She asked me if I could give her some time to heal but I insisted I wanted to be part of that healing process. Before 17:00, I had successfully launched my manifesto and won the heart of the electorate. See my charm? Tatwafilwapo!
We exchanged text messages, WhatsApp messages, WhatsApp video calls, name them, all through the night. I slept slightly after midnight and only woke up to a knock on the door. Opening the door, it was her, with a wide smile on her face.
She told me her mom had just left for work and that I was free to go to her house when ready. I quickly took a shower and called her for an “all clear” sign. I hobbled out of the house in haste and tiptoed to her house while looking in all directions, in case of a third eye, like a monkey in a maize field.
She had told me the door was not locked and so, I just pushed it open and went in. she came over, locked the door, and gave me a peck. I momentarily slumped into the love dream and realised how pretty she was. I lifted her up and she beckoned me to one of the rooms which seemed to be her bedroom.
I kicked the door open with my leg and slumped her on the bed. I kicked off my shoes but as soon as I jumped on the bed…
Oh no! My bundles have finished. Let me go buy talk time so that I can continue the story. See you next Friday!