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Editorial

THE LOVE LETTERS THAT GOT ME CLOBBERED

……. Based on a true story
We had just knocked off from school when my friend John handed me a book from Naomi with instructions that I should check in the middle as she had put something for me. My heart skipped a bit.
This trick is not for the millennials. It was for us ancestors who never knew how a phone looked like and relied on letters to communicate. Story for another day.
You see, a week or two ago, I had been chasing this sweet girl that had just been transferred to our village school from the city. We were in Grade 8. I was in 8A while she was in 8B. The news about this beautiful damsel who had just come to our school spread like bushfire.
Talk about beauty, she was a goddess of indescribable beauty and charm; a female deity. She was not only beautiful and attractive; but also pleasing in appearance and gorgeous in every facet of life.
This is the reason Naomi created that mediocre, village boys’ competition within and outside school. Everyone was preying on her, from teachers to married men in the village but the ultimate fight was among us her peers.
What gave me a slight edge over this fight was the fact that I was among a few who could read and write fluently. I was that laid back pupil who was always reading and paying a little attention to my friends playing around and as a result, I was respected by everyone, including teachers.
So, when word went round that there was a new damsel from the city in 8B, I decided to try my luck. If there was something that was difficult those days was to propose a girl. You could have all the hyena courage while at home that you were going to break the news to your target, but the moment you see her, all the demons would evaporate from your miserable self, leaving you with no word in the mouth. Now, this is where letters came in handy!
So, a fortnight before, I had a brief chat with this girl. You know those meaningless discussions we used to call “paya one” where you just want to have a conversation with this girl just to see how she will relate with you and depending on the attention she gives you, you were at liberty to go round the village telling everyone that she is your girlfriend and threatening violence to anyone eyeing her.
On the day we met, we spoke in English. Those days, speaking in fluent English as early as Grade 8 was a bonus and a sign of intelligence. You see, there were no pre-schools in our village. So, normal learning started in Grade 1 and if by Grade 8 you are able to put pieces together and speak proper English, then you were a genius.
After a brief chat with her, I can confirm that she swept me off my feet. That beautiful accent I had never heard left me dizzying for her even more. If you think Grade 8s don’t dream, then you are mistaken.
That night was the sweetest night of my life. I dreamt and dreamt about her. When I woke up, I made a decision that I would again find time that day for her. This time, to tell her that I loved her.
Didn’t the demons again disappoint me? All the hyena courage vanquished the moment I saw her but then I told her there was something I wanted to tell her and that I would just write to her. She seemed interested. I saw a wide smile beam from her smooth, dimpled face. That was a signal that she was also into me. I went home feeling all important that day and when we returned for preventive maintenance in the afternoon, I had already written my love letter. This is how it read in parts;
“Love to love, kiss to kiss. Dear Naomi, I love you very much. Me I love you forever. I love you like a cup of tea with milk in a big cup. Please, be my girlfriend so that we can be shining in school, you and me. After we complete school, you and me will become teachers and together we will be beating pupils. Please, say yes.”
Never mind the English. Someone was in Grade 8 and in love. This letter was delivered to Naomi through John my friend who also doubled as my henchman and it was through the same channel that Naomi’s letter was delivered to me. She had slotted it in the middle of the book and given it to John with instructions that I should check in the middle.
To be continued tomorrow……

2 thoughts on “THE LOVE LETTERS THAT GOT ME CLOBBERED

  1. alvin

    hmmmmmm ati story to be continued. just post the whole story

  2. Joseph sikombe

    Admi it is not just u this happen alot to some of us where we used to be beaten for liking a girl

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